From the Desk of U.S. Congressman Tim Walz/Philip Jones Hart:
Welp, it's our scary black man President's first day on the beat. I know many of you may be frightened by the implications therein. Is America ready for four consecutive years pretending to celebrate Black History Month? Is she ready for three consecutive years of feeling a little guiltier on Martin Luther King day? Can she withstand sweeping social policy reforms, a renewed interest in international diplomacy, and a Commander in Chief who goes shirtless at the beach?
I know y'all're a little dismayed about this next term. Yer thinking, "this time tomorrow there's going to be tribadism and intercrural sex in the streets and alleyways". Yer thinking, "This guy's gonna just come in here and black everything up for us". Yer thinking, "There are 100,000 total marijuana smokers in the US, and most are Negroes, Hispanics, Filipinos and entertainers. Their Satanic music, jazz and swing, result from marijuana usage. This marijuana causes white women to seek sexual relations with Negroes, entertainers and any others". And I hope yer right,ya buncha turkeys.